to the one who hasn't spoken to me in five months, please know that it felt like years.
i have apologized in the past, please know that it wasn't even my fault back then.
maybe it's me being too cold, please understand that i was raised to replicate what is given to me.
you sleep peacefully, please know that my dreams are often filled with you simply acknowledging me.
it fills me up with hope, please know that everything comes crashing down the moment my eyes open.
our greetings no longer mean anything, please know that both of us are at fault.
we both have big egos, and the wiser one apologizes first, but please know that i'm not doing this again.
when you smile and joke and laugh with her, please know that it kills me inside.
when you are concerned about and proud of her, please know that i'm waiting too.
when i work so hard for your approval and nothing comes in return, please know that i am tired.
we threw seventeen years away like that, please know that i can't believe that anyone would do such a thing.
please know that i don't want to write two birthday cards in a row, full of apologies, begging for forgiveness.
i am your daughter. you said so yourself, the last time i begged for you to talk to me. then why don't you treat me like one? why don't you love me like you love your other daughter? why don't you give me what i crave for? why do you make me dread your return from work? why do you make me give excuses about not being able to go for dinner, because it's the both of us?
why. why, why.
please know that i'm sick of trying. i try to be the best i can be for you, but it's not enough.
please know that you don't even do that.
No comments:
Post a Comment